And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
