Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think my moral compass just broke
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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