WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think people are normalizing furries
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
