if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
