Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize