Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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