Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize