third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
