i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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