It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize