We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
