im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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