Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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