somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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