great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
