he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
