you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
