it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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