FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
