I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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