I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
