i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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