I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
