I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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