The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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