and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
