I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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