Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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