My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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