I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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