apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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