How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
