uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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