im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I believe in your delicious
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize