Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did you pee in the oven last night??
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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