I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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