I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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