whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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