How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
