Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
