i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize