I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
