This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
