so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
