My brain says no but my pants say off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
