what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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