u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
