We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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