the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You can't motorboat a personality
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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