Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
