i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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