I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
