Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
