I got chris browned last night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize