I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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