her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
