Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
