Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
