When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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