Umm I'm too high to move.
Plan B is the new Plan A
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
