Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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