It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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