I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
