TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
