I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
