i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
