So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Randomize