we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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