we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
