Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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