man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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