Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Fuck appropriateness.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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