Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
