I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
