I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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