Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
