There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
