I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
